Reflection
by RasberryGirl
Summary: Cassie thinks about her life, Jake, and who she has become.


"God, what am I doing here?"

Cassie walked aimlessly through the woods, letting her mind drift away from her body. She could see the comforting outline of the barn she had spent so much time in fading further and further into the distance.

She didn't care that she didn't know where she was going, didn't care that the others would be worried about her. That's even if they do care, which they probably don't, she thought to herself bitterly. 

They thought they knew who she was. The peacemaker. The tree-hugger. The Earth mother. The names that Marco and Rachel had good-naturedly called her flooded her head like a bad dream. They don't know me, she thought. Cassie laughed to herself. Hell, I don't even me.

Look at me  
You may think you see  
Who I really am  
But you'll never know me

A branch brushed Cassie's hand as she walked by, causing a thin red line of blood on her hand. 

"Damn."

Cassie looked down at them. Not to big, not to small. Strong hands that did so many things. Hands that cared for injured and sick animals. Hands that waved goodbye to her mom and dad everyday before school. Hands that caressed Jake's cheek as he held her close to him. 

Cassie smiled at that thought, but then a tear rolled down her cheek remembering, that they were the same hands that had killed so many living creatures. I'm a cold-blooded monster, she thought, her chest hurting with the realization.

But they think I'm still Cassie, she thought. Normal, compassionate, tree-hugging Cassie. 

"Yeah, right," she said out loud, more tears cascading down her face.

I am now in a world   
Where I have to hide my heart  
And what I believe in  
But somehow   
I will show the world  
What's inside my heart  
And be loved for who I am

Cassie looked up, surprised at what laid ahead of her. She had unwittingly approached the lake where there were so many good memories she had of her family and friends. She remembered all those Summer Saturdays when she went fishing with her mother and father, never really catching anything, but having fun just as well.

She remembered the summer when her, Jake, Marco and Rachel had all gone down to the lake one day to cool off. She also remembered Rachel daring Marco to jump in with no clothes, and how he excepted. Cassie laughed, recalling that a crayfish had pinched his foot and he came running out, screaming and shouting for Jake to get him a towel, her and Rachel tactfully turning their heads but still laughing there heads off. 

The last thing she remembered was coming down there with Jake, just talking about different things, when all of a sudden he kissed her, square on her nose. She remembered how red his face got, and how he kept apologizing, even when she said she didn't mind, and how he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. Cassie knew the kiss wasn't meant for her nose, and she figured he had probably chickened out at the last second and it just happened to land in the wrong spot.

They had been twelve when this happened, and it wouldn't be until after the war had started they would share their first real kiss, something that neither of them knew at the time. Cassie came closer to the lake, and peered down at the calm, blue waters. 

She could just make out the face of a girl with big, deep brown eyes and short, dark hair. The reflection was ruined by a teardrop that landed landed on the still picture, causing tiny ripplets in the quiet waters.

Who is that girl I see  
Staring straight back at me  
When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside?

Cassie heard a rustling behind her, and jumped at the sudden noise. She quickly turned around to see a tall figure standing in front of her. Cassie relaxed a little.

"Jake."

Jake walked over to Cassie, and sat beside her near the edge of the lake. 

"Your mom said she didn't know where you were. I figured you might be out here," he said, staring at the clear blue lake. When Cassie didn't say anything, he continued. 

"Cassie, you know that it's dangerous in the woods at night. Why did you come here?" he asked, cautiously looking at the distraught girl beside him. Cassie looked right back at him with a tear-streaked face, the pain in her eyes breaking his heart. 

"I don't know. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know who I've become. Please tell me, who do you see when you look at me, Jake?" she asked, reaching out to him with her heart. 

"Who am I?"

There's a heart that must be free to fly  
That burns with a need to know   
The reason why  
Why must we all conceal  
What we think?  
How we feel?  
Must there be a secret me  
That I'm forced to hide?

Jake looked at Cassie, surprised. This girl who had so much strength, the girl who had kept him alive all those years when he felt like dying. He felt tears gather in his eyes, feeling her pain as if it were his own. Cassie stared at Jake, confused. 

"Jake, what's wrong?" she asked. Jake came closer to Cassie and wrapped his arms around her, gently stroking her hair. 

"Cassie, please, don't put yourself through this. You're the strongest person I know. You don't know what you've given me. I just hate it when I think of you not being happy. God Cassie, if I had to live my life without you, I'd be dead. I can't imagine living without your love," he said, rocking her gently. Cassie brought her face up to look at his, and she knew that he was speaking from his heart. 

"Thank you so much, Jake. I love you so much, more than you'll ever know. And I am happy. Now that you're here, everything's okay," she said softly. They both leaned forward and kissed, leaving a reflection of two people, their love casting a beautiful glow on the still waters.

_Author's Note: The lyrics in this story come from the Christina Aguilera song "Reflection" on the Mulan soundtrack and Christina Aguilera album. I don't know who wrote it, but I do know it was produced by RCA, or something like that. I'm sure you already knew this, I just don't want any trouble. I wish I could write lyrics like that. ::sulks for a few seconds, then smiles:: Thanks for reading and please review!_


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